Sure. If you can’t find a TX‑Sector, you gotta do what you gotta do. How about some Venom pinball from Stern. Alright. You know my philosophy when playing pinball is always more or less the same. I like to show up at the arcade wearing a goofy t‑shirt, I like to drink beer, and I like to play pinball.

I’m a sophisticated man, as you can tell. I like to aim for the blinky things and get as many multiballs as possible for a high score. That then earns me free games, so I’m saving money on pinball and beer. Yes, like many of you, I’m a savvy consumer when I’m playing pinball. Make that dollar go as far as possible.

I really enjoy the recent offerings from Stern. It certainly seems like they’re all licensed games based on Disney properties these days, but they look good, they play well, and they’re super fun. Also, though I’m not really the expert in this field, they all play a little bit differently. Foo Fighters plays different than Godzilla, plays different than Star Wars, plays different than Venom.

This one is pretty straightforward as you can tell. There are no flippers up in the playfield. There are no electronic doodads or gizmos flying all over the place. It’s just straight‑up pinball. And it’s pretty challenging. I found that if you can just keep the multiballs going, you can get a really high score. And it’s fun. I like the music too. I like the whole Starsky and Hutch vibe they’ve got going on.

Actually, there is a little bit of a gimmick. I’m not sure what these things are called, but if you look on the right side of the screen you can see one. When you shoot the balls up the ramps, they come flying down and then drop out of this mechanism that throws off the speed of the ramp. It’s actually really interesting. I’m not sure if I like or dislike it, but it’s certainly different.

I love comic books, so obviously I like the art design of the Venom machine, though this seems like an interesting choice of IP for them. Kind of a niche market, not as mainstream as Avengers or Star Wars. And I like how they work the Venom character into the game. It’s always hard to explain what the hell is going on in these machines. I’m not a professional player, so I really do just aim for the blinky things. Like all these games, there are missions you can complete and various objectives.

The speed of the game is fast. That’s what’s important. This is a fast game. I don’t like it as much as Godzilla, but I like it more than their Star Wars. So for those of you who know, you know. It’s somewhere in the middle. And I’m pretty fortunate that I got to spend a lot of time with this machine over the past week. They had two of them at the Pittsburgh Gaming Expo, and I’m playing here at Coop‑DeVille also in Pittsburgh.

Which combines all my favorite things: Robotron 2084, beer, and pinball, thanks to my very patient wife who filmed some of this and then fell asleep on the couch. Yes, they also have comfy couches and a champagne dispenser. I’ve never used that, but I like that they have one.

I could give you some more details, but I’m not that good. I like the game. And hey, check it out, there’s the Mandalorian machine in the background with Ahsoka. Yeah, I just finished Ahsoka. And it put me to sleep. The first thing I did after watching Ahsoka was turn it off and put on Vox Machina, which is a thousand times better. When do we get a Vox Machina pinball machine with the Scanlan orgy multiball. My God, that would be the best property ever. Stern, please. Vox Machina. So much better than the modern Star Wars offerings. Pathetic. Most pathetic. My thoughts indeed.

Not about this game though. This game is fun. You don’t have to be a comic nerd to like it, though you probably have to be a pinball nerd to get into it.

It’s fast, it’s tough, I like the ramps, I like the flow of the game. It’s a good time and another solid offering from Stern, who I will continue to pester about games that I want to see until the end of time. Stern, I know you’re watching. When do I get a GI Joe pinball machine. And let me be very clear about this. In addition to some cool Snake Eyes stuff, I want a Rock ’n’ Roll multiball. Okay Rock ’n’ Roll. Don’t forget him. He’s the best. Put him in the pinball machine. Make it happen.

Until then, I highly recommend that you check out Venom. Hunt down a machine at your local arcade bar, multicade, theater, whatever. Demand that someone get a Venom machine in your town. Flip the flippers. Aim for the blinky things and get that Carnage multiball. It’s a good time.