Secret file on the TAS system. Why don’t we send our ships to follow her? She’s a fox. She looks good through the CGR beer glass too—but that means I need more beer.

Can you feel it? Can you feel the blast processing flow through the screen into your brain? Feel it. Feel it.

Professional. It’s been a while since I played this game.

Bye!

That spaceship—I stole your laser. Made you look bad on the internet.

That’s how professionals do it.

Emergency.

Nothing says “Gaiares” like a Weinstephener Hefeweisen. If you’re playing a good game, you should drink a good beer. There we go. You see that? Probably not. Take my word for it though—it’s good.

I mean, they’ve only had a thousand years to hone their craft.

God damn, it’s good. Alright. Got a universe to save.

Anime girls with green hair to flirt with in 16 bits.

Yeah.

Lady!

So excited about the homing laser I lost focus. It’s like a remix—it’s good. Now she’s red. This is going well. They wouldn’t put the slow motion feature on this 4-E controller if they didn’t want me to use it. I’m just showing respect for the designers.

I’m using the slow motion feature.

I could easily do this.

I blew up.

That would be really embarrassing.

There we go—I’ll just cut that part out in editing. Nobody saw me do that.

Easy peasy.