You’re never going to believe this, but it’s Friday, and after I get my face swatted by a tree, I’m gonna go play some pinball and grab a beer. It’s unbelievable. I’m gonna kick that tree’s ass on my way back.

Pinball, pinball, pinball. Who’s ready for more pinball That’s right, this guy and all of you. Maybe you just don’t know it yet, but pinball is awesome. Today I’m playing pinball at Cinderlands, or whatever they call it now in Lawrenceville. You can see that Van Damme poster on the wall. If the movie’s got Van Damme beating the crap out of Iceberg, the movie’s a good movie.

Let’s take a look at The Avengers from Stern. The Avengers. They’re kind of obscure. You probably haven’t heard about the Avengers. One might say I have Iron Man’s balls, captured and ready for launch. One of Marvel’s lesser known properties, right down there with Kickers Inc. and Spitfire. Two of you got that New Universe reference, and I’m sorry.

The Avengers are a superhero dream team. Wolverine, Spawn, Batman, Ghost Rider, The Punisher, Psylocke. All of them. And they’re all here in this pinball machine. It’s a fun game from Stern, and it’s got that classic Stern feel to it.

I like the art design better on their more recent Venom machine, but if you’re looking for a lot of ramps and a lot of different ways to score points and gizmos and gadgets and flippers up in the playfield and places to lock balls up in the Avenger Tower, The Avengers have got you covered. Look at the Avengers. There’s a whole bunch of them. And Paul Rudd, who makes everything better.

We could have replaced Doctor Strange with RoboCop. Remember that scene when Doctor Strange is going through all the different universal possibilities using the time gem or the space gem or whatever gem he’s using RoboCop would have just shot somebody and dropped an awesome one‑liner and then the future would have been saved. This is why I should write movies. Especially big ones that they make pinball machines after. By the way, the RoboCop pinball machine came out before The Avengers. So yeah, I win every time.

It does break my heart that RoboCop and Van Damme haven’t been in a movie together, but it’s never too late. However, I would argue that it is too late for the Marvel Universe. They all kind of suck now, don’t they It’s all boring. Once you’ve defeated Thanos, what’s the use What else is there You know what they should do Cross over with the Star Wars universe and save Star Wars from itself. That can be the Avengers’ job.

Thor can hunt down Dave Filoni and make him watch The Empire Strikes Back again on Laserdisc and remind him why Star Wars was good in the first place. Not that I have an opinion. I don’t have opinions. Everything’s great. It’s all great.

But I haven’t really said much about this game yet. Here’s what you do. Aim for the blinky things and score high points. Big points. Big points to get a high score. Those things. All together combined make for an awesome pinball machine. Can you tell these are unscripted

Alpha Flight pinball machine I mean, you just did Venom. Who knows who Venom is Alpha Flight. Like proper 1980s Alpha Flight. Come on, that would be so awesome. And so is this game. It’s a fun machine. It’s easy to get into. Tough to master though. I think I only got one Infinity Gem. The Thor multiball is what you want to go for. It’s easy to get the Thor multiball. And the Attauer multiball is a lot of fun to aim for. It’s a fun game.

A real crowd pleaser, and I’m so glad that Cinderlands has one of these because their beer is great too. Not that you can tell from this recording. I mean, I do these separately, but I did pick up a four‑pack. Highly recommended. Their West Coast IPA is terrific. And so is The Avengers pinball machine. Until we get the Avengal Burs, play this one. When you see it, you’ll enjoy it. Probably. Maybe.

To infinity and beyond, Avengers. They don’t say that, do they

Stupid tree.

Get.